Our Year at Hogwarts
by hermione8meg
Summary: This is a story about my friend Serenity(who i refer to as nin) and i going to Hogwarts. i meet Harry at ballet camp(heehee) and Nin falls in love with him and we follow him to Hogwarts...will anyone notice? Mitches on the loose! what's a mitch, you say?
1. Default Chapter

Muahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!! I am on a sugar high right now, and even though it is midnight and I have to wake up for school at 5:30, I am going to write a funny (laugh, damn you!) story about my friend Nin (no, not nine inch nails, it's short for serenity, duh…) and I taking a trip to Hogwarts. Do expect some, um…er…fun between me and Oliver Wood. Mmmm…you probably won't get this unless you ARE Nin, but you will laugh anyways because any story with the word I in it is funny… "I looked over to the left"  
Wink wink, nudge nudge. Sadly, I do not own any of the Harry Potter character (except myself!!! And also now I own nin, hahahahahhah…you heard it from me first!)  
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Chapter 1  
I wrote this because I have had way too much sugar in me and because I was inspired to do so, thank you.  
  
  
  
  
"YeS, iT wAs Me! I dId It! I mAdE sErEnItY oBsEsSeD wItH hArRy PoTtEr!" I screamed (while using very annoying, but heck, I gotta admit, charming capitalization methods.) "I had to tell someone! I met him last summer at ballet camp, and ever since then, I have had no one to talk to about the pathetically heroic and roguishly handsome Harry Potter! The minute I showed her a picture of the little scamp, she immediately fell in love with his messy black hair, striking green eyes, and the lightning scar on his forehead (shhh! Don't tell her it's a scar, though, cause I heard on the DL that she thought it was a tattoo and that he was just, er…creative?) thus, forsaking her lovable, but must I say 'Tard (that's payback for hunan house, alrighty?) of a boyfriend, Dustin, who was absolutely not good enough for her because he didn't know what fennel was. So, besides that, she was from that point on obsessed with Harry. Hell, she even thought his glasses were hot (no comment, but my sister seems to think the same…am I missing something here?) Me, on the other hand, well I didn't find him hot in the least bit, but was fascinated by the fact that he was a wizard (I am a muggle, by the way, but was completely aware that wizards existed all along ok? It's not like I didn't know or something, I mean I'm in Honors English for gosh sakes, and you know that anyone in Honors English has amazing observational skills.) I also loved to hear stories about all the crazy stuff that he'd done (though I think most of it is made up like stories of a certain other person I know. *ahem*) and about all of the strange, but unique (and with rather quirky names, like Draco and Neville and Parvati…are these real names people, please help me out of this hole) people that attend Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry.   
Which brings me to my first point (am I making points?) Well, anyways, Serenity and I saved up all of the money we could (working at Taco Bell with Grant) and bought plane tickets to London to see if we could somehow sneak into Hogwarts and attend classes for the rest of the year without anyone noticing. So with an ingenious plan and new underwear, of course (hey, when you have new underwear on, it justs make you feel all special inside, doesn't it?) we made our way to Diagon Alley to spy on Harry and his friends, Hermione and Ron. Oh, and Ginny was there to, but she isn't part of the famous "Gryffindor Trio" so no one ever includes her, including me, hee hee, would you like a cup of tea? How many words can I make rhyme? - Let's see. Just kidding. Anyways, everything was going just fine until an extremely annoying and stiff (hey, no dirty minds here!) red head that looked like Ron except a lot dorkier and prude bumped into Serenity. She proceeded to scream a flurry of words at his red face (or maybe more in the general direction of his hair, they were both red you see, and I couldn't tell when one stopped and the other started) that I assumed were curse words, but I was too absorbed with a hot (sorry Joe) looking English guy (duh, we're in London) who walked into a Quittich store. I started to follow him, but seeing as how I had no clue who he was, and was sort of in a foreign country, well, you know…  
After that little incident, we lost Harry (and Ron and Hermione), so we just decided to go have a few butterbeers in The Leaky Cauldron. They didn't even card us, muaahahahhahahaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!  
Then, seeing as how we had nothing else to do, and didn't feel like being no shit sherlocks, we decided to go to bed since we had to catch the Hogwarts Express in the morning. It was going to be tricky trying to get on the train without tarrying too long and causing trouble with all the muggles trying to treat themselves to a typically normal Tuesday (That's a lil alliteration for ya Nin, from Somer's class! Sorry if you're not nin, and got annoyed at all the Ts, but hey, I warned ya, so suck it up!)  
  
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Well, that's the first chapter. I don't really expect any reviews except for Nin's and if she doesn't review, then I'll cry, so maybe you ALL should review. I am going to steal a method of SilverPhoenix's for the end, just cause she's a genius. So, here's a little poem I like to call Fluffy (not Cerberus you assholes)   
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I like sugar in my tea,   
  
When I'm writing Harry stories.  
  
'If I have to, I'll get down on my knees  
  
So you'll review' said Pauley Shorey (shut up, nothing rhymes with story)   
  
If I had a million dollars I wouldn't buy a boat,  
  
I'd give it all to someone like you, just to get your vote  
  
On a best authors list, and if not, I'll be pissed.  
  
So review you son of a *$!#@ or I'll throw you in the moat (in my backyard)  
  
  
HEH HEHE HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH heHEHE heh HEHe Hheh hEHh ehEH hehHHEhEHEH!!!!!!!!! 


	2. if ya wanna read the second chapter, you...

Hello! If you want to read the second chapter of Our Year at Hogwarts, then you'll have to go read it at Hermione13's page. This is my friend, Nin. We're both obsessed with Harry Potter and now we're going to write this story together. We're going to switch back and forth every other chapter. So go read the second chapter and review!!!  
  
~ta-ta! hermione8meg 


	3. Oliver Wood Will Be Mine If I Learn How ...

Muahahahhaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!! The greatest mitch of all time is back! Bow down before me, you minions! You will feel the wrath of Meg the super Mitch! Hahahahahahhh…..  
  
*ahem*  
  
Did ya like nin's chap? Thought so. Anyways, I don't own any of these characters blah blah blah blahblahblah… except for nin and myself that is. So enjoy, and be sure to down this sucker with a glass of OJ.   
  
  
Chapter 3  
Oliver Wood Will Be Mine If I Learn to Fong  
  
Megan awoke to the startling scent of kitty litter and strong, old-woman perfume. That could only mean one thing.  
"Oh no! I don't remember falling asleep at Elizabeth's!" She opened her eyes in panic and whipped her head back and forth in a violent fashion, taking in the scarlet drapes surrounding her bed (was it her bed? She wasn't sure…*checks to see if there is someone else under the covers*) She spotted Serenity near by in another schwoopy bed. Then she remembered.   
'I'm at Hogwarts! That's right, I forgot. Hmm…I wonder what time it is, and what time we have to be at classes, and what underwear Harry's wearing-' Gah! "I have to stop doing that!" she said out loud. Serenity rolled over and Megan distinctly heard the name Harry.   
Megan crinkled her nose. It really did smell like her friend's house. She got up to investigate and had just found out that Lavender and Parvati had amazingly horrendous smelling incense, when a red-headed boy popped in the door.   
"Ack!" Megan screamed.  
"What? I'm sorry! I didn't know you were in your pajamas!"  
"No, I mean, Ack! What's on your head?"  
The bewildered boy frantically patted his head, then with a confused and hurt expression on his face, answered, "My hair?"  
"Ahem, I mean…haha! Just kidding!"  
"Who are you?" the unknown red puff-head said.  
"Who ARE you?"  
The boy narrowed his eyes and said in a low voice, "Are you that person who has been writing me love notes over the summer and signing them, Your beautiful and faithful keeper of the mayonnaise? Because if you are, then-"  
At that moment, a yellow haired blur (Elizabeth?) dashed into the room and tackled the boy who asked too many questions. Megan started cheering them on, and was soon joined by Serenity and Hermione, who then was taking bets on who would be the victor of the row.   
"Muahahaaa! Someday I will take over the world and fill this school with cottage cheese!"  
Megan and Serenity: *blink, blink*  
Hermione: *ahem* "I mean, I bet that Ron will beat Draco within the next minute and 26 seconds!"  
"Which one's Ron and which one's Draco?" Serenity asked.  
"Ron, redhead. Draco, bad," Hermione replied in a George of the Jungle-esque way.  
"Doesn't Draco mean Dragon? He doesn't look that scary, actually I think he's kinda puny. More of a dragonfly, maybe. If I had my guess on what…"  
Serenity rolled her eyes. Megan droned on about the origins of the name Draco. Hermoine counted the bet money and plotted against the world. Lavender snored. Parvati dreamed. Ron and Draco…  
"Hey, Draco! What in the bloody hell are you doing here?" said a new arrival that Megan recognized as Harry Potter. The heroic, fearless, and obviously the only one with observational skills who noticed that Draco was in Gryffindor Tower Harry crossed the room in one graceful leap (Hmf! I can't believe he won most improved at Ballet Camp over me! Megan thought) and pulled the two apart.  
"I deduct 500,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 points from Gryffindor for Ronald Weasley being in the girl's dormitories!" Draco cried in triumph.  
Harry cleared is throat. "Well, I deduct 500,000,000,000,000,000,000,001 points from Slytherin for the git Malfoy being in Gryffindor territory."  
"Territory? What is this, American Graffiti?"  
"Shut up - uh, uh, who are you?" Harry glared at the person who had commented.  
"Definitely not someone in love with you!"  
"Huh?"  
"Serenity!" Megan whispered. "Don't you see? That's Harry, and you just made him mad, and now you'll never stand a chance if you wanna get with the youngest seeker-"  
"He is no longer my concern!" Serenity stalked out of the room, and bumped into a tall red head with a dangly earring. Cartoonish stars appeared in her eyes as he introduced himself as Professor Weasley, the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher.   
Megan sighed. "I give up!" She glanced around all the confused people in the room and said, "For Mitch's sake! Would you all stop gaping at me like I have two bloody different colored eyes and help me clean up this mess that these two revelers of the night made!"  
She picked up a pair of women's undies that had falled out of Ron's pocket and snickered.  
"I don't even want to know!"  
"Ron!" Hermione was back to her old self. "WHY DO YOU HAVE THOSE? WHERE DID YOU GET THEM? AND WHAT KIND OF UNDERWEAR DO YOU HAVE ON, HARRY?"   
Ron's face turned bright red as Hermione confiscated her stolen underwear and pushed the three boys out of the door.   
"Um…" Megan said. "I think I'll go to the, uh, bathroom." She edged her way out of the room and went in search of her missing friend, stopping outside of the fat lady's portrait to spy on another red head, this time a girl, kissing the dragon boy, what was his name? Ah, yes - Draco, then proceeded down to the Great Hall a little earlier than expected, especially since she was known for being late.  
Right as she turned the corner to exit the hall leading away from Gryffindor Tower, she heard someone shout, "Ginny! How could you???"   
'Hmm…' Megan thought. 'That sounds like Ron.' These thoughts were immediately pushed out of her mind, however, as she ran into the hot English (but suspiciously Irish sounding) guy that she had seen in Diagon Alley.   
"Hullo," the hot English guy said.  
"Er…"  
"I'm Oliver."  
"Er…"  
"Oliver Wood."  
"Er…" *drools immensely*  
"And your name would be?…"  
"Umm…Hermione?"  
"Uh, are you okay?  
"Yes."  
"But you're not Hermione."  
"I'm not?"  
"No."  
"Oh. I don't seem to remember what my name is."  
"Oh well."  
"I like your accent."  
"I like your eyes…"  
"I love you."  
"I love you too."  
They walked down to the Great Hall, hand in hand.   
"So, if you're the new Quidditch coach, can you get me on the team?"  
"Only if you fong me!"  
"Okay! Yea! I get to be on the house team! Woo!"  
  
  
So…..that's the end of chapter 3, and yes, if you want to read chapter 4, you have to go to hermione13 for my friend nin's next chap. So, there t'is. Like it? And for all you sickos out there, fong does not mean what you think it does, so ner. Hee hee! I love oliver wood! 


	4. A Time for Laughter

Sorry it's taken so long for me to update, I have writer's block. Anywho, woo hoo! June 21 is the official release date, people! Yay! Maybe Serenity and I will make an appearance in Order of the Phoenix…maybe, you never know…  
  
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CHAPTER 5  
A TIME FOR LAUGHTER  
  
  
Megan sat down in her spot at the Gryffindor table for dinner, receiving a reproachful look from her friend, Serenity. 'Hmm……wonder what's bothering her? Maybe one of her hoodie strings is longer than the other.' Megan decided that must be it, and went about filling up her plate with a various assortment of bread.  
  
"Have some bread?" Ron asked sarcastically.   
  
"WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?" Serenity asked. "You didn't come to lunch or our classes all day!"  
  
"OH, YEAH, THAT! Well, I found these books in Ginny's trunk about Harry, and it was so weird! There were four of them, and they were written by, er…..what's her name. OH! J.K. Rowling, and they describe Harry's first four years at Hogwarts. So, I thought, what better way to get to know everyone than that? They were quite thick books, so I just now finished."  
  
"BOOKS? ABOUT ME?!!!"  
  
Hermione rolled her eyes. "Harry, really, I told you first year on the train--"  
  
"That you had read several books that he was in?"  
  
"How did you know that?"  
  
"I told you, I know EVERYTHING that's happened between you guys, now. I read the books. There's four of them: 'Philosopher's Stone,' which I heard was called 'Sorcerer's Stone' in the U.S., 'Chamber of Secrets,' 'Prisoner of Azkaban,' and the last, and best, in my opinion, was called, 'Goblet of Fire.' Oh! Look at me, I'm rambling, aren't I? But they were really good books, I'm surprised you didn't know about them, Harry! Actually, the best part was after the Yule Ball when Harry found that little Krum figurine all torn up under Ron's bed and--"  
  
Ron grabbed her arm to stop her and she looked at him innocently. Trying to take the attention off himself, he suddenly yelled, "SHE WEIGHS THE SAME AS A DUCK!"  
  
Everyone: ?………………………………............................  
  
Ron: "Erm…what I meant was, er, if she weighs the same as a duck, logically she must be a witch. BURN 'ER!"  
  
Everyone: blink…blink.  
  
Hermione: "Don't be silly, Ron. Of course she's a witch, why else would she be here?"  
  
Megan pulled her hand away. "How many times do I have to tell you guys? I AM A MITCH, Not--a--witch." She said the last three words very slowly, as if Ron had the IQ of a red robin, or in this matter, a freshmen cheerleader.   
  
Harry, always the HERO OF UNDERWEAR, brought the focus back to the books. "Where did you find these?"  
  
"In Ginny's trunk," Megan said point blank.  
  
Ginny, who had just sat down, gave a small "Eep!" and jumped up from the table, scurrying out of the Great Hall, dragon-boy in tow. "Now, wait a second, according to the books, she's supposed to like Harry, not Draco. Oops, wait, I'm supposed to call him Malfoy."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Um…nothing, Harry. Have you seen Wood?"  
  
Serenity snorted. Everyone looked at her, and she held her hand over her face, trying to resist the urge to laugh out loud. "Yeah, Harry. HAVE you seen WOOD?"  
  
Megan ignored Serenity and went about searching for her, um…friend.   
  
"Well, I wanted to ask him something about practice, so I was wondering if you guys had seen him."  
  
"What practice?" said Harry with a quizzical look on his face.  
  
Megan: ……………………… "The only practice there is here."  
  
Harry: "Er…" Harry still wasn't catching on.  
  
"Quidditch" Megan prompted, "You know---the only sport that there is here."  
  
Ron: "WHAT? I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO BE THE NEW KEEPER?!!!"   
  
Megan turned toward Ron and said, "I just er---TALKED to Oliver, and he said that I could be the new Keeper. And chill out with the CAPS, it's giving me a headache!"  
  
"Yeah, right, you talked…" Hermione rolled her eyes impatiently and went back to her calculations of the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow, which, obviously, was the key to the universe, and when she deciphered these ancient words of Yoko Ono, she would take over the world. That is, unless Britney Spears got there first (Damn Britney Spears! It's mind control, mind control, I tell you!).   
  
"We were just talking! I swear! Who do you think I am? Courtney Dever? Sheesh!" Megan rolled her eyes.  
  
Hermione glared and rolled her eyes again.  
  
Megan rolled her eyes.  
  
Hermione rolled her eyes.  
  
Megan rolled her eyes.  
  
Hermione rolled her eyes.  
  
Megan rolled her eyes.  
  
"WOULD YOU TWO STOP?!!!"  
  
Everyone turned in shock at Neville's little outburst.   
  
Megan sniffled a little.  
  
"Sorry, guys, but I'm trying to memorize my lines for the next movie, and it's kinda hard with all the eye rolling going on!"  
  
Megan and Hermione both mumbled, "Sorry, Neville," and then went back to what they had been doing: Hermione translating ancient crap and Megan eating quietly and trying not to laugh at the SuperBowl commercial involving boundless zebras, monkeys, and jackasses (what's the plural of jackass? Jackii? Hm…) that Serenity was talking about. She was afraid if she laughed, it would disrupt Mr. Dufford's class next door, who were all diligently voting for Serenity as "Biggest Spaz" and Megan for "Most Obsessive."  
  
Megan couldn't hold it in anymore. She sniggered loudly into her pumpkin juice.   
  
"So, if these books are about our first four years at Hogwarts and you--"  
  
Megan tried desperately to ignore Harry while laughing uncontrollably at Serenity.  
  
"--have read all of them today, then you probably know what happened when--"  
  
Serenity had now finished and was eyeing Harry suspiciously.  
  
"--the trophy was actually a portkey, so you can back me up about Voldemort really returning, and--"  
  
Serenity glanced at Megan who was slowly shredding her napkin into tiny bits. "Should I?" she mouthed to Megan.   
  
Megan, however, was shite at reading lips, and mouthed back, "Huh?"  
  
Serenity sighed and wrote on the back of her notebook, "Should I?" and held it up for Megan to see.  
  
Megan nodded vigorously and jerked her head in Harry's direction before rolling her eyes.  
  
Hermione rolled her eyes.  
  
Megan rolled--  
  
WE'RE NOT STARTING THAT AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
*ahem*  
  
Harry was still blabbing on about the books. "And if you know about Rita Skeeter, because wouldn't it tell in the books that she was being untruthful, then obviously--"  
  
"NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Serenity suddenly shrieked at Harry.  
  
"NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Megan joined in.  
  
"NO!" Harry shrank back in his seat. "NO! ANYTHING BUT THAT!!!"  
  
"Now," Serenity said, standing up, towering over the cowering (heehee, that rhymed) Harry, "Stop talking about the darned books or we shall have to taunt you a second time!"  
  
Harry: meep…"I was just wondering…"  
  
Serenity: "Give it up about the books, already."  
  
Megan: "Yeah, Harry. Geez, maybe you should be on the ballot for Most Obsessive."  
  
Serenity: "OR Biggest Spaz!"  
  
Megan: "OR Prettiest Eyes! Like a fresh-pickled toad!!! Heeheeeheeeeeeeeee!"  
  
Serenity: "OR BEST HAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Both Megan and Serenity fall off their chairs and roll around on the ground, laughing insanely.  
  
"Are you two quite finished?" Hermione asked with her nose in the air.  
  
"No! I know! HERMIONE SHOULD WIN BEST HAIR!!!!!!!" Megan shouted before she and Serenity collapsed on the ground laughing some more.   
  
"NO!" Serenity continued, "Harry, Hermione, AND Ron should tie for Best Hair!"   
  
Megan and Serenity: *beaucoup laughter*  
  
Suddenly the Great Hall went extremely quiet except for Megan and Serenity's laughter which echoed off the walls and bounded back to them. Noticing the silence, the two sat back down at their seats and glanced around the room, only slightly embarrassed at several heads turned to see who was making so much noise.   
  
Professor Dumbledore had stood up at the head table and clinked his spoon against his glass with a very solemn look on his face.  
  
"Something's wrong," Serenity whispered quickly.  
  
"Oh no, I hope it's not Oliver…" Megan whispered back, searching the room frantically for the Quidditch coach.   
  
"Or Bill!" Serenity gasped.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Nothing."  
  
"Students," Dumbledore began, "I have some very bad news…"  
  
  
To be continued…  
  
  
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Lol, how evil of me. Not really, but I felt like the story should have some sort of plot. So, something bad happened! But now it's up to Nin to figure out what that bad thing was. Or she could write a chapter about Harry's underwear, whichever one works for her! Sorry…it's a snow day, so you can forgive me.   
  
Toodles, everyone!  
  
~meg 


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